BOOMER ZONE

Part 6 - Grammor

The cheery, exciting summer days were slowly merging into the murky, blustery nights of autumn for the residents of STC-O. Funnily enough, everywhere in Britain was having the same problem! Regardless of the atmosphere though, nothing changed within the confines of the slave camp. Sonic Boom continued to formulate plans to break free from their suppressers, X3 still struggled with his obsession and Jim sat there; polishing his cattle prod, waiting for the right time to release his little friend again. And that's where he was now, polishing his cattle prod, watching decaying leaves randomly fall from the desert sky - as Ed let himself into the guard's room.

"Jim," Ed spoke softly to Jim's back, "I need your full co-operation right now."

"Go on," Jim replied solemnly, swivelling round his courtesy leather chair.

"There's a conference regarding 'The Decline of Grammerism in Torture Camps' and I need someone to represent this organisation."

"You want me to recommend a Boomer, is that it?"

"No, Jim, I want you to go. You've got the worst grammar in the whole of STC-O and I think you'll learn a thing or two. I'll PM you with the details later."

Before Jim could disagree and argue his cause, Ed had vanished from the room. Jim spun back round to his spot at the window, polishing his prod with increased vigour.

"You don't really think this'll work, do you, Arch?"

"I most certainly do, Pennywise!"

Arch glanced at Pennywise for a second or two, a 100% metallic beast of an echidna. To be honest, he hadn't seen much of Penny since arriving at the Manchester bar. The journey over from the Yorkshire Coast had taken it out of the black fox so much that his furry face was almost permanently resting on his cod and chips. First impressions weren't good; the cold, calculated 'Hatter' hadn't taken kindly to the chirpy, gluttonous Arch. Arch didn't care. He wasn't here to make new friends; he had a job to do to save his old ones.

"Why are you so confident?" asked Pennywise, not eating for obvious reasons.

"Optimism is the key!" came the reply. "Don't they teach you anything where you're from?"

"They don't teach you much about anything in Hull."

"Touché."

Cars screeched into ditches at the side of the road and pedestrians screamed for dear mercy as Jim roared down the streets on his MOD scooter. No Manchurian was going to stop THIS Geordie from reaching his goal, however pointless this goal was. However, Arch and Pennywise stood high in the sky like angels of death, perched atop a random Pizza Hut.

"Do we do it now?" whispered Penny so quietly in the wind that he was inaudible to Arch.

"You can save that till later, sicko!" replied Arch with the wrong answer.

"WHAT KIND OF SICK, PERVERTED MONSTER DO YOU TAKE ME FOR?" yelled 'Hatter', lifting his metallic fist and 'placing' it into the face of the startled fox, who really hadn't done anything wrong. The shock from this tickle caused Arch to go hurtling off the side of the neon pizza and towards the crowd below. The pedestrians gazed up in horror, but Jim didn't care about them, nothing would stop him from reaching his goal! Unfortunately, the crunch of a fallen fox sprawled across Jim's face was enough to stop him.

The main screen crackled to life in the STC-O briefing room and the mods were greeted to the image of a rope-bound Jim, tied to a rocking horse in the depths of a filthy, rodent-infested dungeon. The next to appear was Pennywise, who made sure he gave Jim enough pain to render him unconscious. Incidentally, Penny had a large opening to the left of his eyes, much resembling the fist of a young, vengeful fox...for some reason. Finally, Arch appeared from below the screen, attempting to look dramatic but failing miserably.

"Good morning, STC-O," smiled Arch. "I hope you're all on top form today."

"Afternoon, Arch," replied Retro. "You appear to have someone of ours."

"Ahh, young James!" Arch stepped away from the camera to reveal Jim once more, blood dripping behind his straggly hair, before returning to his pose. "I'll let you have him back, on one condition."

"Forget it, fur-features!" yelled Mike in a typically "Mike" fashion.

"You haven't heard me out yet!" frowned Arch, rather disgruntled.

"Go on," replied Ed. "It may be a reasonable request."

"Thank you, Mr Reynolds. I'll return to STC-O with Jim on tow, providing that Team Dark get full rights of passage back to STC-O with unlimited privileges."

"We'll get back to you on that one, Mr Pike," replied Ed, calmly switching off the screen.

"Ragh! Let me get up there and shove my tail right through his forehead!" growled Sin.

"No, Sin, we need someone considerably more pointless to go up and rescue him so that if he or she should get killed, we won't miss them."

That was when Madhair spotted a rather bland, gormless Dave sweeping dust off the doorway.

"David," said Madhair, waking up to him. "We need you to stay here and continue your work."

"No, no, no, this tact just won't work, Stu!" cried Retro, also walking over. "We need you to take the Silver Wing and rescue Jim, one of your suppressers, from a rebel named Arch who is holed up in a Manchester dungeon."

"Err...cool, yeah?" chuckled Dave slightly bewildered. "But, umm, why me?"

"It's because you're Welsh, Dave."

"Oh dear, this just will not do at all!"

Ever the adventurous type, Samface, popularly known as a distant relative to the Duke of Ochu had agreed to join Dave on this daring mission. Unfortunately, they weren't going anywhere until Samface was satisfied with his surroundings. After all, a crisp packet discarded on the dashboard could bring the whole ship crashing down!

"Well, uh...we could switch seats?" suggested Dave, not really helping, bless him.

"You dimwit! That's not going to change anything!"

Samface reluctantly sat down in the immaculate passenger seat of the Silver Wing (ironically created by Omega, a Team Darker) and messed with his tie. He refused to sleep though, scared what a commoner like Dave could do to him with his eyes closed.

-----

A lot can happen in two weeks. Wars start, countries fall, celebrities die and new crazes are born. It was also two weeks before Samface and Dave arrived back at STC-O. Upon reaching the mod briefing of the day, Samface was less than happy, tie hanging behind his back.

"He...WASN'T THERE!" he yelled.

"I'm well aware of that," answered Ed. "I realised it would be much quicker to compromise with Arch than relying on you to find him."

"WHAT!?"

"Don't take it to heart though. Due to your heroic courage with putting up with Dave for two weeks, we're making you one of the mods, Sam!"

"Well, I never!" blushed Samface, though his cheeks were already red from running. "This has turned out rather well!"

"Don’t think we've forgotten about you, Dave," smiled Mike, as Dave perked his head away from the fish tank. "We're promoting you to Waste Disposal Refugee!"

"Better still, we've hired Pennywise to work in the coal mine. Alone!" laughed Ed.

"Huzzah!" cheered Retro. "Surely everyone's happy!"

In the corner of the room, a familiar figure sat slobbering in a wheelchair, babbling away.

"Here, I guess this is ain’t not the bestestest thing that could happen, no?" squealed Jim.

"I guess he never made it to the conference," sighed Ed.